ANOTHER POST TO SATISFY THE READERS!

this alone tells me enough about the supposed excuse of "support" i'm expected to receive. i didn't get much traffic yesterday, telling about how my interview went well but i always seem to get MORE traffic when shitty things happen to me and i mention them on my blog. people are anxious to see shit happen for me. i guess mentioning today how i fell while trying to pick up a med cup that fell on the floor and banged the side of my head on the floor will satisfy you all. now, i have a big bump forming above my eye and there's a small cut on it. i'm still going to sabathani though because that seems to be the only place where i get relief. the fact that i get more traffic when shit happens to me irritates the living fuck outta me- it honestly shows how people only supposedly CARE enough to see shit happen to me but GOD FORBID THEY MAKE AN EFFORT TO SEE HOW THEY CAN HELP (AND I DON'T MEAN HELP THEMSELVES- WHICH SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY MOTIVE FOR MY SELFISH ASS FAMILY SINCE THEY FEEL LIKE THEY CAN'T MAKE SHIT HAPPEN FOR THEMSELVES- SO TRY TO STEAL FROM THE ONLY FAMILY MEMBER WHO'S REALLY TRYING TO DO SOMETHING WITH THEIR LIVES BUT IS STILL STRUGGLING). OF COURSE- THEY'RE STRUGGLING BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY FOR WANTING TO MAKE AN ACTUAL LIFE FOR THEMSELVES WHILE NOT CONFORMING TO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WHO IS DISABLED AND VULNERABLE ARE DOING! RIGHT AMANDA? HOW STUPID AND FOOLISH! this is another big reason why my grandma picked the wrong person to take her place.. the person she picked just does what's convenient for her and what looks good to everyone else (but me, the person who she's supposed to be helping)- THAT'S OKAY THOUGH! STACY IS STUPID AND SHE'LL EVENTUALLY SEE IT'S BETTER TO JUST BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! RIGHT AMANDA?! GOTTA LAUGH ABOUT THIS WITH DUSTIN!! and people probably doubt my ptsd diagnosis.. they shouldn't after seeing everything i'm expected to deal with like a completely safe healthy person. i've more than likely went through the same amount of trauma that the normal soldier of war has went through and i still can't get the help which would be TRULY helpful- why? BECAUSE IT'S NOT CONVENIENT FOR THE SUPPOSED RIDICULOUS EXCUSE OF "SUPPORT" I HAVE! WHY DON'T I JUST LAY DOWN AND LET EVERYONE DO EVERYTHING FOR ME LIKE A DISABLED PERSON IS SUPPOSED TO DO?! BECAUSE I HAVE PERSISTENCE AND RESPECT FOR MYSELF NOT TO JUST GIVE UP EVERYTHING I BUSTED MY ASS FOR. HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL?